It's a good one

Yesterday I was getting into the shower and I ended up staring at my body for a minute and it hit me that while I may have issues with my body, it’s still a pretty solid thing. I, like many other women, am not ideal. I don’t meet society’s standards of what is the correct (see: perfect) female body. I definitely carry a few extra pounds. I have scars. I have stretch marks. I have not enough tattoos. But, this is my body. It carried two full term pregnancies (hence the c-section scar and the stretch marks). It has gone through gallbladder surgery. It has had serious weight fluctuations. But it is my body. And dammit, it’s a good one.

I have days where I pull on my graphic tee and my jeans (fuck anyone who tells me I can’t cause I’m pushing 40) and I walk out of my house feeling confident. But those days are few and far between. Most days I throw on pj pants and my mister’s shirts and I hunch down and try to hide this body. Well...fuck that. New life goal here. And I say life because I know years of systemic thought don’t go away overnight. Anyway, life goal. In 20 years when I’m nearing 60, I want to have more confident days than then hiding days. I want to acknowledge that while I could be skinnier, stronger, more societaly accepted, this is my body, and it’s a good one.